So my birthday is coming up this week, and as a woman who works with many other women who worry about wrinkles, crows feet, laugh lines, stretch marks, saggy boobs, cellulite and all other body image issues that come up with age, I started to reflect.
Am I worried about turning 30, or aging in general? No. Not really.
I spent a lot of my 20’s defining who I am, what I like, what I don’t like, how to present myself to a room full of people. I jumped from career path to career path, I had intentions for different levels of education, I had several hairstyles ranging from my natural (ashy brown) to a purple-y red, and blonde. I’ve had the “should we have kids by now?” conversation with my husband more times than I can count. I’ve felt guilty about not owning a home, moving 3 hours away from my family, dropping out of college, having a “scandalous” career…
But now that I’m about to turn 30, I'm feeling this whole rush of confidence, authenticity and permission to be who I truly am. Let me tell you who that is. I am an independent woman who sometimes needs a man to comfort, uplift and hug her. I am a woman who believes other women make the world go 'round. I love my jobs and I love my family and friends all with my whole heart. I never half ass anything. I am a creative soul who sometimes cries when I hear a really good song. I dance through the aisles of the grocery store. I put up a pretty good front that I've got it all together, but I often worry that I'm not good enough. I love to travel, I love the feel of sunshine on my face, and I love experiencing new cultures, climates and foods. Oh yeah, I'm a foodie. I love to eat. I also really love luxury experiences like staying in high end hotels, getting a massage, buying designer purses, shoes, and dresses. I take a little time to warm up to people, I'm slow to trust, but I make friends pretty easily. I love a good Prosecco, vodka, or whiskey, depends on my mood, and I either like getting all dressed up, hair, makeup, lashes and dresses with heels, or I live my life in leggings, jeggings, and sweatpants. I can appreciate the soundtracks of Hamilton, The Greatest Showman, and I love Michael Buble, but I can also rap every word of Gangstas Paradise.
I spent my 20’s setting a new goal each year to lose 50-75 pounds, I tried fad diets and waist trainers, and weird workouts. I researched topical products to get rid of my stretch marks, and acne, and I’ve bought nearly every product an Ulta sells. But in the last few months, as I rounded the corner to a new decade, a new chapter of my life, I started to love myself, and my body a whole lot more, and I can’t wait to see how this next decade unfolds.